Butterflies and Broken Promises
by Pixieblade
Summary: Tokito gets a phone call from an old acquaintance. AN: Since we don't really know what happened to Toki I'm gonna call this an AU because I'm using my own thoughts on what happened to him.
1. Chapter 1

**Butterflies and Broken Promises**

"_Drug thy memories, lest thou learn it." --Tennyson_

Kubota leaned against their balcony wall-head tilted back watching the slow moving clouds, the light breeze gently wafting the smoke back into the living room. He was on his third or fourth cigarette, he couldn't remember anymore, but he did know he'd have to run out a get another pack soon, but _he_ wasn't awake yet. So he stayed put, waiting for the inevitable call for breakfast or the cursing as the shower was turned on, it being too hot or too cold, it was always on of them.

He glanced at the neighbors across the street, they had flowers growing on their balcony and while the tulips and daisies didn't impress him much, the bright blue butterflies that came to them did. They were large for their species, maybe three to four inches long with a striking melding of blue and black on their wings. Fragile those, he remembered kids pulling them apart in the past, it always made him just a bit sad, that something so pretty was also so fragile, being able to be destroyed with just a little tug. _I'll probably end up like that...no, never mind, it won't be something so calm and quiet, it be like that cat I found, ripped apart inside. _He stood there a while watching them, wings fluttering shut, slowly pulling themselves back apart, only to repeat the cycle, over and over until the end.

Tokito stared at the odd scene, _who would have thought Kubo-chan liked butterflies?_ He didn't understand, they were cool, like those monkeys they saw on the TV last night, but he still didn't sit there oblivious to the rest of the world watching them. He was about to walk over and demand breakfast like usual when his cell phone rang. He walked over to where he left it on the TV last night and picked it up, still watching Kubota through the glass doors.

"Yeah, who is it?"

"Minoru...it's been awhile...do you like your new master? It's a pity he won't be around anymore...I thought I told you, you can never..."

Beep...Beep...Beep...

The phone disconnected as it slid from his trembling hand, clattering across the wooden floor. His whole body felt like he'd been doused in ice water and then burnt with white hot brands, everything went dark and there was the cage, the needles, the pain...

"Tokito! Hey, Tokito! What's wrong, what happened?! Hey, speak to me!!"

He could hear it, the laughter, the voice, over and over telling him he'd never leave, that his 'master' had come for him and he'd never see the sky again...he was caught, he had to escape, had to get away, couldn't stay here, not safe, can't stay, gotta run, gotta...gotta...

The smells came first: cigarettes, sweat, soap...then the sound: the gentle voice in his ear, the calming words, over and over, a mantra of peace in his mind, in his heart...and then he could feel again: the strong hands holding him, fingers twined in hair, not twisting or pulling in pain but gently stroking it away from his eyes, wiping the tears away, erasing the fear. As he slowly came out of the nightmare world of his memories he realized he was slumped on the ground, Kubo-chan holding him carefully, like he was that fragile butterfly he saw earlier. _He wasn't a freaking cat, much less a butterfly_, but right now, this was the only truth, Kubo-chan's arms and the smell of cigarettes, and that was enough.

"Yeah, he got a phone call and then went nuts...no, battery popped out, can't recall the number. Yeah, I got it; I'll call you if anything else happens, thanks."

Kubota hit the end button on his cell and walked back into their bedroom. Tokito had been out cold since that little outburst and he'd gotten worried enough to call Kou. He figured a call was better than having him pay a house call, didn't think his cat would appreciate the company after whatever happened. All he knew was that the past had finally caught up with them. 'Akira,' that had been one of the words Tokito had said that made sense, everything else was just a jumble of incomprehensible emotions masquerading as words. Fear and pain, he got those loud and clear, but oddly, no anger, just the absolute terror. He once again wondered what they had done to him...whoever _they_ were.

"The floor's not hard." It was mumbled, but those words seemed very loud in the quiet apartment.

Kubota looked down at him from the doorway, "Of course not, you're in bed." He smiled and lit another cigarette, number seven (five and six were sharing space in the ashtray by the bed). "How are you feeling?"

"Like a friggin' elephant sat on me. My head hurts." Tokito grumbled as he pulled himself up and dragged the back of his hand across his eyes.

"That good, huh? Well, considering you about destroyed the living room again, I guess that's not bad, so I suppose I don't need to call Kou-san again." He dropped his phone in the waste basket and walked back to the bed, flopping down besides the smaller boy he slung an arm around his waist and lay looking up at the ceiling. He didn't ask what happened, he'd do what he always did...he'd wait.

Tokito glanced at the discarded phone and then down at his partner, he was about to ask what was going on when the pain started. _Argh! Damn it! Stop, stop, stop! You fucking piece of shit! _He doubled over inpain, clutching his right hand, praying that the furred flesh would stop hurting, stop burning.

Kubota shifted in bed. He slid behind Tokito and pulled him against his chest, holding him close he slowly rocked the boy back and forth, whispering his name and lightly kissing his neck to help sooth him. This time was longer than normal; time seemed to slow to almost miniscule proportions as they sat there, wrapped in each others arms, clinging together for all they were worth.

"Fuck! After that stupid call _this_ happens! I swear someone hates me! And don't you call that quack either! I can handle this; it's nothing, just a friggin' ant bite or something. No worries!" Tokito's boisterous attitude not withstanding, Kubota pulled him closer against his chest. Tokito nuzzled in against the warm flesh, breathing deeply he tried to fill his lungs with the salty cigarette smell that defined Kubo-chan in his mind.

"That damn call, how the hell did they get my number? What did they mean; you wouldn't be around for long? You're right here! I can feel you, you're not a dream and I won't let him take you from me! Not now, not ever, I'd kill him first..." he hissed the thoughts out through gritted teeth. _I would,_ _I'd kill Akira and anyone else that looked at Kubo-chan, let alone touched him, I'll swear to it._ He was shaking from the anger, he didn't remember freaking out after the call, just everything going dark, he hated the dark, reminded him of nightmares he couldn't escape from. "I don't know where or how, I barely know who, but I swear they won't win. Never!"

"Hai, Hai. No one's going anywhere, I promise." Kubota's glasses lashed as he lowered his head, resting it on top of Tokito's his eyes took on a steely cold fierceness. _Oh, so that's it, huh? First they screw with him and now they reach out their dirty hands to touch our world? I don't think so. I'll have to call drop by Kou-san's later and see what he can find out. sigh This is gonna cost a bit though. Shit, better let Kasai know too. Damn this is turning into one crappy weekend._

--


	2. Chapter 2

Ch. 2

It was another hour before Tokito had calmed down enough to fall asleep. Kubota gently untangled himself from the boy's embrace and slid the sheets up around him. His hand lingered over the ruffled hair, fingers carefully stroked the silken tresses out of his eyes and he felt his breath speed up slightly. Leaning down he softly placed a feather-light kiss on Tokito's brow before turning around and grabbing a new shirt off the floor.

Kou was sitting behind the store counter when the door chime rang out. His usual errand boy slowly closed the glass door behind him and flipped the sign to CLOSED, pausing briefly to switch the lock as well. Never one for dramatics, if Kubota was concerned about unwanted visitors, something was majorly wrong. A lone eyebrow arched gracefully as his eyes narrowed slightly.

"I take it you're having a bad day? Tea?" He slipped from the stool, silken robe swishing slightly as he briefly walked into the kitchen to get the tea pot. Setting the cups gently on the counter he remained silent until the boy spoke first. The air was tense as Kubota murmured his thanks and drank the offered tea in one long, deliberate sip.

Setting the empty cup down he glanced up, "We had a little issue with the phones this morning if you recall. Not sure how they got the number, but we'll need new ones. Oh, and a few more 'woks' might come in handy too." Kubota laid a stuffed envelope in front of the man. Sliding his glasses off and rubbing his eyes, he looked up at Kou and sighed heavily, "I'm also going to need a favor...I have to make a few errands before he wakes up, can you go keep an eye on him?"

Kou smiled slightly, "You sure he'll want me there?" Kubota leaned back in the stool, one arm dangling by his side, the other lightly sliding the cup across the counter's surface. "Doesn't matter anymore. Nothing does."

"Pessimistic much? I would have thought there'd be more fire in you. What happened to that scrawny 15 year-old I treated a few years ago? He wouldn't be this passive," Kou knew goading him wouldn't accomplish much, but this new Kubota made him uneasy. Kubota's eyes fixed on Kou quickly, without his glasses he looked much older, but the look that was there now made Kou shiver slightly.

The boy languidly got to his feet and took the three 'woks' set out earlier. "I'll be back later this evening. Keep Tokito quiet and at home until then, would you?" The door clicked shut without a sound as Kou slid to the ground. _That look!_ He'd seen Mafia's come and go, gang wars and bloodbaths, but that edged look in Kubota's eyes scared him, truly scared him. _May the Gods pity the poor bastards when Kubota got a hold of them!_ It took several minutes for Kou to stop shaking and get to his feet again. Composing himself, he smoothed his robe and collected his medical gear and another 'wok' before grabbing the spare key to the boy's apartment and locking up the shop.

As Kou walked along the streets of Chinatown he sniffed the air lightly. _Rain_, it was going to be a bad one too. He hurried along faster than he had planned, but this storm was going to change the face of this town, he just knew it.


	3. Chapter 3

Ch. 3

Taki was at his usual spot behind the pachinko machines a few blocks from his place, and as usual, he was losing. Bad. Sighing heavily he dropped his last few tokens into the paper cup and slid off the stool. Grabbing a cigarette he headed outside to cool off for a bit. The light post made a convenient back rest as he lit up and stared at the sky, rain clouds moving in fast over Yokihama Bay to the east. Squinting into the fading light he noticed an all to familiar shadow, lanky even when stooped over.

"Yo! Been a while, what's up?" He smiled brightly and raised the cigarette slightly over his head, just starting to wave when he noticed the menacing aura around his friend. Slowly he pulled the cigarette back down and took a deep drag before crushing it under his shoe. Pushing himself forward he ambled forward into the dark.

"So, how's our boy doing? Haven't seen him since that little issue with the cops a while back." Small talk seemed like the best way to deal with the brooding teenager by his side, and he was sure if anyone saw them walking together in the darkening alleyways they'd get the wrong impression, but it was such a rare occurrence for Kubota to seek him out, especially alone.

A small flare in front of the youth's face illuminated steely eyes and a firm set mouth, Taki swallowed and tried to maintain a slightly less depressing mood. "So what's up?"

"We have a problem at home. Might be best if you took a vacation for a bit." Kubota stopped and leaned against the rough brick wall to his left. "Can't get into it now, but it'd be a shame if you got dragged into this. Tokito'd never let me hear the end of it too."

Taki raised an eyebrow at the gloomy boy in front of him, "Aww!! Are you worried about me? I never knew you cared! Don't worry though, I'm pretty use to crazy shit going on, nothing to fear my friend!" He smiled up at Kubota, totally oblivious to the mounting anger welling up behind his friend's glasses.

"You moron! I'm not telling you this to see your God damn smile! I'm serious, you either need to get the hell outta town or stay home, you got that! If it wasn't for him I'd never even come out here...shit." Taki rocked back on his feet, unused to hearing such a loud declaration from Kubota.

"Fine, fine, I got it. I'll take a little trip, no worries. Geeze, man I don't know what's wrong but you need to calm down, get some distance or something. I'll head out now, say hi to Toki-chan for me." Waving a hand over his head he slipped back out onto the main road, leaving Kubota alone in the dark.

_He's right, I have to calm down. What the hell's wrong with me, I never blow-up like this, that's Kasai or Tokito's department._ Kubota pulled his glasses off and ran the back of his hand across his eyes. Taking a deep breath, he looked to the sky above, and quietly prayed for the rain to fall. To drown himself in its icy nothingness, to dampen these burning emotions, to make him mechanical again. Lost in the shadows away from prying eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

Ch. 4

Anna was staring out the window when a sharp rap on her door startled her. She was at home, one of the few days a month she didn't have to 'work,' and it was starting to rain. _Lovely_, "Yeah, who is it?" She said as she threw open the door. "Makoto!! What the hell?!" She dragged him inside and slammed the door shut behind them. Running into the bathroom she grabbed the nearest towel and flung it over his head.

"What the hell? Didn't you hear the news; this is going to be a really nasty storm. You don't even have an umbrella! For Christ's sake, Makoto!" Her exasperated voice trembled slightly as she realized his eyes were slightly unfocused, glasses streaked with rain and his clothes sticking to him in weird ways from the moisture. "Come on, we gotta get you out of these!" As she started to pull off his jacket the boy's hand flashed out, striking her outstretched hand away.

Lightning flashed as Makoto pulled the towel over his head before letting it slip to the floor. "Sorry, but I didn't come here for that. We have a rat problem I need to take care of, in the meantime, it'd be better if you called in sick and waited out the storm here." He threw a paper wrapped object on the kitchen table before heading back for the door. Pulling it open partially, he turned in the doorway and looked back over his shoulder, "You might need that, just in case...and Anna? Thanks, for everything."

Anna stood blinking into the fading light as the door closed behind him. Slowly she walked to the table and unwrapped the item. Her hands went to her mouth as the gun clattered to the floor. Her breath was ragged as she whispered into the night, "What the hell is going on Makoto?"


	5. Chapter 5

Ch. 5

"Today sucks...first another W.A. body and now this. What the hell's wrong with this city?" Kasai blew out a hot breath of smoke into the night sky. Leaning over the squad car door he waved his Lieutenant over and threw the latest file at him. "Ain't nothing we haven't seen before and I'm not hanging 'til the tech's show up. You handle it, I'm outta smokes."

The younger officer sputtered but did as told. Kasai slammed the door shut and pulled his trench a bit higher around his ears. _Damn rain got into everything, _he thought. As he wandered down the back alleys a shadow slinked after him. Not really obvious, but not really hiding either. He took a deep drag from the fast dying cigarette and let the smoke curl up around his head, coming to a stop under a street lamp. "You could have just called you know? I won't have anything written up until tomorrow though."

Moths fluttered around the flickering orange light as Kubota came into view. Leaning against the post he offered a new cigarette while pulling one of his own out. Lighting them carefully in the rain was something they had both gotten to be experts at over the years. "Sorry, don't have one anymore," he stated.

The grizzled detective looked at his nephew sideways in the deepening gloom. "Yeah? Why's that?"

Kubota shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly like always and moved in a bit closer to his uncle. "We have some uninvited guests possibly coming over, so I need to clean up a bit, but I wanted to give you the heads up. Just in case they decide to stop by and see you while in town." His voice was low and it took a moment for everything to sink in, but when it did Kasai simply patted the boy on the shoulder and replied, "No worries, I'll get the place all clean before they show. You good? Need any cleaning products at your place?"

"Nope, I think I'll be able to handle it. Thanks though." Kubota ducked his head and walked past Kasai into the darkness, leaving the detective alone on the rain slicked street.

"Hmph! Yeah, I hope so. You always did make a bigger mess trying clean things up...oh well, guess I'll go see what I can do to clean up myself." Another drag sucked in between thin lips, before being flicked out into the night, a lone speck of burning orange fading into nothingness as he started back towards home.


	6. Chapter 6

Ch. 6

_Stupid, stupid, Kubo-chan!_ Tokito fumed in their dark bedroom, the object of his anger being out at the moment, he flung a pillow at the closed door instead. The muffled _thwack_ sound alerted his watchdog in the other room. Tokito flopped down on the bed and hurriedly pulled the sheets up over his head as the door creaked open, illuminating the talk Chinese man.

Kou knew better than to intrude too much on his unwilling patient, he was just checking to see if anything was broken more than anything else. If Tokito was still throwing pillows than that meant he was still _here_, which was the point of Kou's 'cat sitting' after all. He sighed heavily and closed the door, returning to the living room he kneeled down in front of the couch and went back to his board, struggling to get back into the flow of things.

He leaned heavily against the couch, fruitlessly staring at the Chinese Tarot in front of him. The organized cards didn't do justice to the absolute chaos that was swirling around him: the lovers, the tower, death, the hanged man, the world; it was all stuff he already knew! It was getting so frustrating just sitting here, waiting...but for what he wasn't sure.

The soft pad of bare feet and the slight moan of the door made him glance up, "Tokito..."

The aforementioned sat heaving on the couch, his pillow still clutched against his small chest. "Hey, you don't think he's gone and done something really stupid, do you?"

"_Really_ stupid?" Kou slid his glass back up the bridge of his nose, a slight jeer in his parroted question.

Tokito rolled his eyes at him, "I mean more than normal. Like, you don't think he went looking for _him_..." His voice was almost incomprehensible, mumbled into the pillow as it was.

Kou didn't respond, just shifted a tad, leaning to the left he laid against the youth's leg. Tokito stammered a bit, but didn't move away. Instead he buried his head in the pillow and took a deep breath. Kou realized then that it wasn't Tokito's pillow at all, but _his_. A ghost smile played on his lips, but was gone just as quickly as it came.

Not knowing what else to say, he stared out the window and watched the play of lightning over the grey city. He looked back to the cards. There were different ways to read them and he hoped that the most menacing of the versions wasn't what awaited them out _there_, out in the dark.

He smiled as he fingered the closest card, 'The Lovers,' it was the one he picked to represent Kubota and Tokito in the spread and it was perfect. To him at least, maybe others wouldn't see it that way, but to him they meshed perfectly. They were each other's truth and salvation and damnation. They were Yin and Yang and the light and darkness. They completed each other.

He glanced surreptiously at the brooding youth behind him, he'd probably be thrown out in the rain if Tokito knew the direction of his thoughts, but it didn't mean he was wrong. Glancing back at the cards he dropped 'The Lovers' and sighed, the rest weren't hard to figure out, but he really didn't feel like thinking about them at the moment. He just had to make sure his 'patient' stayed inside and didn't get into trouble. Which he was doing rather well actually. A quick glance at the clock showed it was past lunch time, way past.

"How about some food?" he asked, pushing himself off the floor and stretching his long limbs.

A non-committal grunt was all he received for the trouble of standing, but perhaps if he actually cooked something? He rummaged through their bare cabinets and refrigerator before finding a few mostly wilted pieces of bok choy and some miso paste near rock hard in the back of the box. He sighed, but grabbed the boy's wok, a real one this time, and attempted to make some soup for them at least. He was near ecstatic when a random pull on a stuck lid revealed a carton of instant ramen noodles that he could add in.

"Hey cat-boy! How about some soup?" He hollered from the kitchen, grinning when he heard the indignant cry from the living room.

Tokito about threw the pillow at the kitchen, then remembered it was Kubo-chan's pillow and clutched it a bit harder to his chest. He really wasn't hungry, but the smells of the quack's cooking took him by surprise. Without conscious thought he padded towards the enticing smells and stood staring at the older man.

"Where the hell'd you find that?" he scoffed, pointing at the vegetables and noodles piled high in the pan.

"Which one, the food, or the pan?" a deft turn of his wrist sent the noodles sizzling in the hot oil.

"Both I guess, Kubo-chan only ever makes shitty curry for us, didn't know we even had veggies left."

Kou smiled a bit at the comment, "Come here, and let me show you what I'm doing, then you can make it as a surprise one day."

Tokito lit up at that, he wasn't very good at cooking, but this didn't seem so hard, and he'd be able to show off his new found skill when all this was over. Crowding in against Kou he eagerly watched as the older man showed him how to cook each section, he even managed to do a small toss in the air with the veggies once!

As Kou continued his cooking class he slowly released all the tension that had been unconsciously building up in his shoulders. He laughed delicately as Tokito tried to flip the noodles, barely managing to keep them inside the pan and quickly placed his hands over the boy's, tensing them in the appropriate upward movement that made the noodles go up into the air and then falling with them as they came back down.

They spent the next hour enjoying the meal and cleaning up the kitchen, which had gotten steadily messier as Tokito insisted on trying to make something himself under Kou's watchful tutelage. He managed sweet red beans and rice which Kou determined was the most they could do with their meager stocks.

Afterwards they settled down in front of the television and threw on an old movie. Tokito falling asleep halfway through was probably for the best, he decided. He pulled a blanket up under his charges' chin and hunkered back down, determined to watch 'til the end.


	7. Chapter 7

Ch. 7

The whine of metal on metal set his teeth on edge. Kubota noticed the clenching and fished through his pocket for some of Lotte's Pomegranate-Blueberry flavored gum that Tokito had pressed him with. The train was almost deserted at this hour, but he still refused to sit, taking a position by the doors instead. Too lazy, he told himself, but the truth was he knew it was a better vantage point should anyone try anything. Not like there were many stupid enough to try and hit a moving train, but you never know, they'd come across some pretty stupid yakuza lately.

Kubota smiled slightly in spite of himself, that had sounded awfully Tokito-like right then. He checked his watch again, 10:24pm, he'd been gone for half the day tracking their associated friends and cohorts down and now all he wanted was to get home. Tokito had probably raised royal hell the minute he woke up and saw Kou there, but without a phone he was saved from that particular barrage until he got in.

His eyes searched the night, straining through the speckled glass of the train and he remembered another train ride, one with Tokito by his side. They'd gone out for a delivery for Kou and Tokito had insisted he come along too. While riding, Tokito had fallen asleep beside him, resting his head on Kubota's shoulder, and clutching his hand painfully during a rather unpleasant nightmare. Tokito had awoken in a cold sweat, fur slick under the leather glove in his hand, but Kubota hadn't let go. He'd never let go.

They continued on in silence, but that was enough for him, a small squeeze to show he was there and Tokito's head back on his shoulder, saying he knew. What was so wrong with them that everyone and their dog had to get involved in their lives?! He was told he couldn't leave the Izumo without compensation, and he blew away most of their rivals, he never made trouble where it wasn't started by someone else first.

He really wasn't an antagonistic person by nature, he was just there, and that was enough for most people around here. Around here, maybe that was the problem. He chewed thoughtfully and wondered if Tokito would like Osaka or Hokkaido better, someplace not _here_. Shaking his head in resignation he knew what his mate's reaction would be, "What do you mean leave? What about the old man and Taki and that stupid quack?! Where am I gonna find an arcade in HOKKAIDO?! Screw that, I ain't leaving and neither are you!" Then something would get thrown and he'd nod his head and give in, like always.

Kubota leaned against the metal railing and stared out into the storm. Yeah, that sounded about right, as long as they knew people here he wouldn't let them leave, but one day, one day he'd get him out of this place, show him that there's more than guns, and drugs, and leering yakuza hiding in the shadows. He clenched his fist in his jacket pocket, one day, he thought.


	8. Chapter 8

Ch. 8

Kou was on his feet and by the door the moment he heard the ring of footsteps on the metal staircase. The clock on the wall showed just after midnight and he was exhausted, but he wasn't going to give in to it. _One, two, three_, he counted as the steps sounded ever closer, the tension building in his shoulders, his fingers slick with sweat around the barrel of the gun.

_Tap, tap, tap._ Three wraps that was the code, a quick look through the peephole confirmed the identity of the mystery tapper and Kou breathed out a sigh of relief.

"Welcome home, Kubota." Kou held the door open as the lanky youth walked in. Dropping a convenience store bag on the table, he didn't bother taking off his shoes, or _saying hi for that matter_, thought Kou, but headed straight for their bedroom. Kou smirked and let himself out, looking up at the still raining sky before he started on his way home.

Kubota dropped his wet jacket on the floor by the bed; the dull squishing sound was alarmingly loud in the quiet apartment. He glanced at the sleeping form in the bed, smiling parentally at the sight. Tokito was curled up on his side, one hand bunched up under his pillow, the other clutching Kubota's pillow against his thin chest.

He leaned in and brushed the hair out of his partner's sleeping eyes, relishing the feel of its silky smoothness against his skin. Tokito murmured softly and leaned into the touch, sliding over a bit closer to him in the dark. Kubota ran his fingers down the length of Tokito's face, over his neck and shoulder, down his lean arm. He smoothed the ruffled fur of his right hand a bit before Tokito's blood shot eyes flew open and he was suddenly pinned to the ground.

"I'm home." He told his very pissed roommate.

"I can fucking _see_ that!" he spit out; teeth clenched so tight he thought they'd break.

His claws bit through the wet shirt easily, pricking the moist flesh beneath. Tokito saw, but didn't care. He didn't care about anything at the moment; he just let the emotions wash over him in their own violent turns.

**Anger.**

"And what the fuck was the big idea of leaving me behind, huh?! That sucked! I had to spend the whole...fucking...day...with that quack!" He was shaking now, half on the verge of tears and have wanting to pound Kubo-chan's head into the floor.

Kubota lay there staring dumbly up at him, trying to figure out the right response, the right thing to say, something that wouldn't get him killed. He settled on laying his hands on Tokito's, of gently gripping the trembling fingers and extracting them from his shirt. Reaching up he circled the boy's waist and pulled him down on top of his still wet body.

Tokito flailed for a few moments but he just held on tight. Repeating that he was home over and over again into the boy's ear.

**Bargaining.**

"Don't ever do that again, you got that, we're a team on this. If you want me to hang around, then don't go being stupid by yourself anymore."

Kubota smiled at the irony, "Ok, we'll only be stupid together, I promise."

**Depression.**

"Stupid, I'm serious here. You didn't even leave a note, you normally leave a note god dammit." He mumbled into the damp stickiness of Kubo-chan's chest, his breath making Goosebumps across the skin's surface.

Kubota didn't answer, there really wasn't anything he could say to put Tokito's mind at ease and he knew it. So he just held him, held him for all he was worth and left the sky to cry out his frustrations around them.

**Acceptance.**

"Hey..."

"Hmm..."

"Did you really go out without an umbrella?"

"Hmm..."

"Stupid."

"Yeah."

"Come to bed?"

"Yeah."

"No clothes, you'll get sick."

"Only if you don't either."

"Pervert."

"Yeah."


	9. Chapter 9

Ch. 9

Saturday.

4:15 in the morning.

The sun wasn't even up yet.

But he was.

Kubota turned in his sleep, mumbling something inarticulate and reached out for the warmth by his side. But there was no warmth. His eyes shot open as he jerkily pulled himself into a sitting position, back pressed against the metal bars of their headboard, thin pillow lying forgotten on the floor. He moved his fingers over the depression on the bed...cold. Tokito must have been gone for some time then. His fingers scrabbled across the nightstand, finding his glasses and pushing them up the bridge of his nose he surveyed their room. There were the normal books and such scattered about, the closet door was askew, but nothing looked to be missing.

He slid out of bed, feet prickling back awake awkwardly as he padded silently towards the bathroom. The door was closed but he could see the faint light glowing orange from underneath. He breathed out a sigh of relief; _at least he was still here_. Tapping lightly on the wooden panel he pressed his forehead against the rough surface and listened. The sound of running water was soft, but there. He must be taking a shower, but at this hour, that could only mean his hand was hurting again. Reaching out he carefully turned the door knob and slipped into the steamy room.

Tokito was curled up on the shower floor, gripping his right hand and trying desperately not to scream. He'd woken up about an hour ago from a nightmare, the pain sharp and insistent in the night. The last few days had been bad, really bad. The nightmares were coming faster now, more vivid, more terrifying. He'd woken up several times thinking he was still in the cage, its rusty metal flaking in his hands, staining them copper like dried blood. It didn't help that their bed was made of metal bars. More than once he'd woken with his right hand gripping their smoothness, twisting them out of shape. He'd had a hard time bending them back before Kubo-chan noticed, but you could still see the claw marks if you looked closely.

It terrified him, the not remembering or the memories; he wasn't sure what scared him more. No, that was a lie; he knew what scared him...the future. He wasn't afraid of Akira any more, not really, but he hated the dark, the prick of needles, and the taste of chalky pills shoved down his throat while he struggled and screamed into the shadows. No, what he was really petrified of was that the future was an illusion. _His_ future. _Their_ future. He didn't want to die, didn't want Kubo-chan to die either, but the fur was slowly inching up his arm and he knew what that meant. He'd seen the pictures, the bodies of the others that didn't make it. He'd noticed it a few days ago, it use to just stick out a bit, but now there was more of it showing past the edges of the soft leather and he was having a hard time concealing it.

He had tried to shave the hair, but ended up cutting himself instead, the razor shaky and uncomfortable in his left hand. From then on he'd found every single long sleeved shirt they owned and had constantly worn his glove, even at night. He was lucky, he figured, he'd had the chance to live a little. Even find someone like Kubo-chan to spend his last sane moments of life with. He should feel blessed. It shouldn't bother him...his death really shouldn't bother him...it shouldn't...his body shook, the force of the tears threatening to overwhelm him. He didn't want to die. He didn't want to leave Kubo-chan, he didn't!

Strong arms wrapped around his bare chest and pulled him into a tight embrace. They sat there under the hot water, clinging to each other for all they were worth, afraid to break the spell. Kubota ran his fingers through Tokito's hair, constantly battling the water as it tried to force it back into his violet eyes. Tokito's left hand cradled the furred one, pressed between their bodies as the sobs racked his. He nuzzled into the warm flesh between Kubo-chan's shoulder and throat, the steady pulsing calming him slowly.

"Shh...Toki...it's ok now, I'm here...it's ok..." Kubota repeated the words over and over until his cat had calmed down.

"Kubo-chan...I...I don't wanna die..." the words were so softly spoken he almost didn't catch them. The fear that laced his voice, the haunted look shadowing his eyes made his breath catch. He pulled him in tighter, determined to impress his feeling upon his mate.

"I'm not going to let you." He swore, his voice hard and sure, and Tokito desperately wanted to believe it, wanted the hand to be a trick of his imagination, something that had occurred due to stress and fear, something fake.

He swallowed audibly and chocked on the hot water, the saltiness of his own fear swirling around his tongue, slipping over his chin and suddenly the overwhelming taste of cigarettes and Lotte's latest flavored gum mixed and melded with the salt, overpowered it, and forced it to the back of his mind leaving only the sad joining of fear and longing and utter desperation in its wake.

Breaths mixed and hands slid and cradled and clung feverishly, and maybe it was an illusion, maybe it was a dream, all he knew was that it banished the nightmares, left him wrapped in fluffy blankets, his head pillowed on a familiar wiry strength, fingers and claws both tangled in silken strands and finally he was able to sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

Ch. 10

The morning sun flitted through the metal blinds annoyingly. Tokito flung a hand at the offending light, muttering curses under his breath.

"Fucking sun, every god damned morning…"

"That's normally what 'morning' means you know?" A voice said humorously from the doorway.

Tokito sat up groggily, rubbing his hand across his eyes to banish the sleep and glanced at the door.

"Taki!" his face lit up at the sight of his journalist friend, utterly bemused to see him in their room.

"Yo!" _*eh hem*_ "Ah, Toki-chan, umm…not to say anything about your sleeping preferences, but umm….could you maybe…"

The blonde pointed at his friend's waist and blushed hotly.

Tokito glanced down and burned crimson, "Shit! Kubo-chan!" scrambling under the covers for his missing clothes he about missed his partner's head poking around the corner of the door.

"Aré? You're up? What's the matter?" Kubota looked the same as ever, cigarette hanging loosely from his lips, glasses hiding his eyes, annoying half-smile slipping across his lips.

"God damn it! Where'd you put my clothes last night? I swear every single fucking time!!"

"Hmm…I tossed them somewhere in the middle of everything…the laundry maybe?"

"What the hell'd you do that for? What am I supposed to do now?"

"I don't have a problem with what you're wearing currently…"

"Eh!!! God, you can be such a pervert sometimes you know!"

Taki's face couldn't get any redder. He had tried inching out once the conversation turned, well, _turned_, but Kubota was blocking the entrance. Standing there listening as their conversation became increasingly intimate he felt really out of place.

"Um..I'm gonna go check the coffee; I'll see you in a bit…"

_Escape_! Taki fled the room, pushing past Kubota and about flinging himself into the living room.

Gasping for breath, trying to get the way to vivid images of how his friend lost his clothes out of his head he heard chuckling from the couch to his left.

"Old fart" he mumbled, straightening and walking into the kitchen.

_*heh*_

"Told you, you shouldn't have volunteered to go in there. It's like a no-man's land, only Makoto's free to pass." Smoke wreathed the scruffy face of the older detective. Kasai laughed at the younger man and took another drag off the half-burned cigarette. He had no definite proof about his nephew's relationship with Toki-boy, but of everyone he'd ever met, it was that boy who'd made Makoto 'settle down' so to speak and he was happy for them.

Taki settled heavily onto a kitchen chair that had been pulled out into the living room, the wood groaning as he settled into it backwards, leaning his chest against the back, legs spread out in front of him, coffee cupped loosely in his hands.

"So, you think this is a smart idea? I mean, he did tell us all to stay away until this got settled." Taking a quick swig of the lukewarm liquid he scrunched up his face and glanced at the sleeping form curled up with her head cushioned on Kasai's leg.

Kasai smiled ruefully and lightly brushed the black hair away from Anna's eyes. They'd met at Makoto's last birthday party and hit it off. He smiled at the memory: Toki-boy had come asking about what people normally do for birthdays and he thought it'd be a great chance to give his nephew a party. He knew if anyone other than Tokito had suggested it Makoto would refuse it flatly, but if it was him…

A soft cough caught his attention, the boys where back; Tokito looked flustered, a pink blush tingeing his neck, Makoto's arm thrown over his shoulders as they wandered into the room, Makoto was saying something to him, so low he couldn't catch it, but whatever it was caused the shorter boy to mock swipe at his arm and lean in closer.

Kasai held his breath; he'd never really seen his nephew smile openly before, but for a moment, less than a heartbeat in length, there had been a true smile on the boy's face.

"Yo, Toki-boy, you up now?" He waved over his head while gently nudging Anna awake.

"hmm…g'morning." Sitting up sleepily she glanced around the room and blinked rapidly at the mid-morning light. She leaned in sleepily against Kasai as the two made their way around the couch.

"Eh?! What are you guys doing here?" Tokito asked incredulously at the pair, eyes going wide as Anna nuzzled in against Kasai's shoulder.

"Well, we figured it'd be better to be together on this than have shit go down separately, right old man?"

Taki ducked as Kasai threw a pillow at him, "Old man my ass, little punk."

"Well, whatever, it's good to see everyone, but really, we're cool you know?" Tokito looked around the group, smiling like nothing had happened, completely at ease amongst his friends…his family.

***

The next few hours were spent discussing plans and strategies, though nothing solid came out of it all. At the very least, Kubota was satisfied that the joking and laughing had helped Tokito's mood. Kou stopped by in the evening, after Kasai and Anna had left and they were finishing a last round of coffee with Taki. The tall Chinese nodded politely at him before stepping outside with Kubota, leaving Tokito and him alone in the living room.

"Stupid quack, always so sneaky with Kubo-chan." Tokito kicked absently at the table's legs.

Taki glanced back at the door listening for his friend's voice before leaning in closer to Tokito across the table.

"Hey, Toki-chan, you and Kubota, are you two…nah, never mind." He shook his head, waving his hand to dismiss Tokito's confused expression.

"Oh shit, I almost forgot, I did find one thing that didn't add up after the last time we talked. Where is it now…"

He scrambled through his backpack, pulling out random papers and notebooks, business cards and photos.

"Here it is! I was talking to this old guy at the carnival and he said he remembered overhearing something about the Tojou and someone named "Reiichi," he didn't know anything else, but he kinda figured it was something important…hey, Tokito?! Tokito!!"

Footsteps pounded up the stairs outside the apartment. The door slammed open as Kubota came racing through the room, Kou fast on his heels. Sliding to a stop, he fell to his knees in front of a hysterical Tokito, practically pushing Taki out of the way.

Tokito's eyes had gone wide, the gold specks vibrant in their fury, pulsing in his violet eyes. His hands were twined painfully in his hair as he huddled in upon himself, mouth open in a wordless scream. The terror easy to read on his face.

Kou opened his bag hurriedly, searching for something he could give the boy to calm him down. Kubota didn't wait, he reached in and grabbed Tokito's arms, teeth clenching as he fought Tokito for control of the flailing appendages.

"Toki! Tokito, it's me, it's alright, calm down, I'm here! Tokito!!" he pulled in closer, trying to get Tokito's body lined up with his own.

"Argh!!!! No!! Akira! Father!! Stop it! I don't wanna!! NOOOO!!!!"

Lips met crushingly, teeth crashing together as Kubota forced his way into Tokito's field of vision, biting down hard on his bottom lip, flinching as Tokito's claws ripped through his shirt and back. And still he called his name, over and over, reassuringly, a calming mantra to soothe the beast cradled in his arms.

Taki couldn't watch, he'd never seen his friends like this, this nightmare world and suddenly he understood why Kubota had tried to warn him off. He wasn't prepared for the stark reality of their every day lives. The brutality of it all.

He glanced at his feet, at the couch, the door, anything to try and distract him from the heart wrenching sound if Tokito's muffled sobs and Kubota's too soft voice echoing through the still room; reminding him that he was here, that he was still human, still needed.

Taki jerked at the soft touch on his elbow, found himself staring into smiling eyes and being lead outside into the cold night air.

"Taki-san, can you please tell me what you were talking about with Tokito-kun before he relapsed?" The mysterious man named Kou asked him pleasantly.

"Huh?" he asked intelligently, "Oh, um…I heard from this guy that the Tojou had some kid named 'Reiichi' a few years back, seemed like they were doing some pretty nasty stuff to him and that drugs were involved, but he didn't know anything more than that. I hadn't even gotten to tell him half of it when he freaked, and what do you mean 'relapse'? He's never been like that before. What's really going on here? Who are you anyways?"

Taki could feel the shaking starting. Moving from his mouth to his hands, he kept talking just to give it some form of outlet.

Kou just looked thoughtful as he spoke.

"You could call me the boy's doctor and unfortunately, I have seen him like this before. Luckily Kubota-kun's the best medicine for the boy. Anyways, could you tell me more about the man you spoke to?"

***

Kou silently slipped back into the living room sometime later, after sending the young man home with his best smile and a mouthful of lies: Tokito would be fine…there was no need to worry.

He could hear mumbling from the bedroom and carefully peeked into the darkened room.

Kubota sat on the edge of the bed, gently brushing sweat soaked hair out of Tokito's eyes, mumbling inarticulate sounds he assumed helped the boy sleep easier. Tokito was curled around his legs, arms wrapped around his waist, his eyes screwed shut in the unnatural attempt to shut the world away.

He slipped back out silently, the door making a soft clicking sound as he pulled it shut behind him. Walking back to the table he scratched out a note and propped it up by a forgotten coffee cup before turning out the lights and letting himself out.

Things had just gotten a lot more complicated.


	11. Chapter 11

Ch. 11-

Kubota stayed with him until he fell asleep. Carefully detangling himself from his partner's vice-like grip he walked heavily to the bathroom, exhausted from the day's activities. The soft click of the door shutting behind him and the hum of the fluorescent lights overhead were the only sounds in the still apartment.

Twisting he examined the ripped and blood stained shirt stuck to his back in ragged strips. He gingerly fingered the crisscross lines, hissing softly as he pulled fabric away from the dried blood caked over and round the cotton shirt. His free hand clutched at the sink counter as he tore off the last strip, a thin stream of pain spiraling out from the wounds.

He tossed the ruined shirt in the waste bin and grabbed a face cloth from the towel rack. Twisting the faucet to the left he waited until steam stained the mirror and he couldn't see the damage anymore before dipping the soft terry cloth into the scalding water. Reaching as far as his arm could comfortably he dabbed at the wounds, refreshing the water and flushing the blood from the cloth.

He stared in morbid fascination as the red liquid stained the sides of the sink, twisting in upon itself before twirling down the drain. As he pulled the cloth back his fingers shown dusky red, stained like the sink and his back in his own blood, pallid in the yellow light.

Shaking his head to clear away the crimson fog he tossed a clean towel over his shoulders and left. The stained cloth laying in the bin next to his shirt, the red wetness oozing together in the now dark room.

***

Kubota glanced back at the sleeping form curled under the covers of their bed. It looked like he was ok, but he never knew when screams would pierce the night's shadows and Tokito would scramble up from underneath whatever nightmare or memory was plaguing him. He sighed softly and padded out into the living room, aiming for the kitchen and the cold beer he knew was just waiting for him in the fridge.

The glint of street light yellow reflecting off the kitchen table caught his eye as he walked pass. Picking up the sheet of paper he could just barely make out the elaborate kanji scrawled across the lined paper.

_The journalist may have found something interesting; I'll look into it and give you a call tomorrow. Of course this will be added to your tab._

_-Kou_

_Hmph._ Kubota nodded and scrunched the paper up before stuffing it in the pocket of his standard black pants. He reached the refrigerator in a few steps, shivering slightly at the cold air that assaulted his still damp skin as he open the door and grabbed the last beer.

He wandered over to the balcony, sliding the glass doors open smoothly and leaned over the edge, face into the wind like a dog in a car. Balancing the bottle on the ledge he tapped out a cigarette and lit up, cupping the flame between hand and body as the cool breeze tugged on his hair and he tried sorting things out in his head.

Taki had said a name: 'Reiichi' and in the same breath had mentioned the 'Tohji and drugs'. Tokito had screamed out 'Akira' and 'Father'. Whoever this 'Akira' person was knew who and where they were, he probably had been keeping track of them since Kubota had left the Izumo and picked-up Tokito. The thought didn't scare him, but he was kinda pissed.

It was like their lives for the past two years had been some big television production, and he hated being put on display without a say in the matter. He sipped at the beer, cold bottle resting on soft lips, foamy head sliding sickly sweet down his throat, followed by a cigarette chaser. He wasn't a big beer drinker, but it had its uses, its time; like now, when all he wanted was to fuzz up his brain and make it stop working for a moment.

He looked up at the purple sky and sighed; taking a last drag he tossed the still burning cancer stick out into the darkness. Scrubbing his nicotine smelling fingers against his eyes he down the last half of the bottle and turned to go back inside, the brown glass laying empty and forgotten on the sill.

Kubota caught his feet in the rag rug in front of the couch and limply fell to his knees.

_He wasn't drunk._

_Nope, couldn't be._

_He was never drunk._

_Never, ever, never drunk._

_Ok, maybe just a bit._

A stupidly silly smile slipped across his lips as he sat there, moonlight twisting the dancing shadows that surrounded him until the moon was obscured and his eyes watered, twisting the shadows into a wavering Tokito and he smiled again.

Pushing himself to his knees he tugged insistently on Tokito's sweatpants, pulling him down to the floor with him. He sat there looking at the still moving shadow and wrapped his hands tightly into the soft material of the shadow's collar and smiled again before the alcohol wormed its way to his tongue and he whispered Tokito's name into the night.

The shadow didn't move, not even an eye as Kubota pushed it to the ground, breath hot and steamy, the scent of wheat and grapes hung in the air between them, settling like the morning mist into his mind as his hands tore clothing and his lips danced along the hard lines of collar bone and hip, teeth nipping and then more forcefully, full out biting, like he was trying to break the skin as he forced thighs apart and pounded the shadow into submission, over and over.

Until his name was torn from bloody lips and the shadow dissipated into the cool night air and he slumped over in his drunken haze, oblivious to the very solid form still shaking underneath his flesh. Tears sparkling in eyes, left unshed as one wavering hand and one strong claw gently rolled him over, cradling his head and musing his hair absently as he folded in upon both of them, head bent in supplication or embarrassment or dejected acceptance, something.

***

Kubota woke to the sun streaming in and the birds chirping loudly and _God damnit all if his head didn't pound and his eyes didn't burn like he rubbed salt in them._ It took him a moment before he realized why his neck hurt, he was, well, had been, sleeping on the couch, no pillow, with just a light blanket laying on top of one very naked body.

He frowned and scratched at the back of his head, noticing for the first time the blood and skin under his nails. He frowned harder. What was the last thing he remembered?

_Going to the bathroom and cleaning his back._

_Reading Kou's note._

_Getting a beer._

_Something about a shadow..._

_Oh. Oops. So, how stupid had he been last night? _

Tokito emerged from the bedroom stiff and sore, angry scratches down his arms and across most of his body if anyone actually bothered to check. There was dried blood on his neck, smeared down from an obvious bite mark on his ear. He glanced once quickly at Kubota sitting on the couch and then proceeded on to the kitchen, rummaging around in the cupboards and suddenly everything flashed into focus for Kubota.

_Oh. Shit. _

Hanging his head in his hands he vowed that was the very last beer he'd ever drink. _Ever_.

He stood up shakily, head throbbing at the sudden movement and pulled the sheet up around his waist, twisting it into a knot at his hip to keep it from slipping. He padded into the kitchen, a soft groan escaping his lips as Tokito slammed the cupboard in his face, jumping when he laid a hand in his shoulder.

_Shit, shit, shit._

"Toki..to.." he held his head in one hand, the other outstretched towards his flat mate pleadingly, though he had no right to ask and certainly no assumption that he would be forgiven.

Tokito stopped and looked at him impassively. The violet eyes were dead looking, with all the spark and golden embers burned out. Kubota thought his heart would break at the sight. He never would have imagined he'd be the one to kill the energetic, living life to the fullest, look.

He backed up into the counter, arm dropping heavily by his side.

"I'm sorry, Tokito, God, I'm so sorry, I never..."

Warm fingers slid down his face and he jerked up. Tokito looked exhausted; utterly worn out with deep back smudges under his eyes. Claws ghosted over his cheek and slid around the side of his neck.

_Ssss!_

He hissed through clenched teeth as flesh was ripped open and blood dripped down the side of his neck.

"Payback." Came a dull voice. Kubota looked up at Tokito.

"We're not even close to being even yet, so don't get any stupid ideas in that head of yours."

A strange glint shown in his amber streaked eyes, bloody claws raised to his lips, he lapped up the blood dripping down the razor like nails.

He smiled openly at a very confused Kubota.

"We'll be even after I jump you."

Licking the last drop of blood away, he reached past the stunned Kubota, grabbing the coffee off the stove and turning back to the sink. Kubota just stood there as he poured two glasses and dumped in so much sugar and milk it barely resembled coffee anymore before heading back into their bedroom.

Pausing by the door he called over his shoulder.

"It was cold last night, wasn't it? Maybe this time you should stay in bed and not go opening all the damn windows."

Kubota could hear the smirk in his voice.

"You do anything weird this time and I'll do more than scratch you, pervert."

Kubota sank bonelessly to the floor, sheet slipping from his thin waist as he laughed relieved.

"Hai, Hai."

After a few minutes he made his way to the bedroom, sheet laying forgotten on the kitchen floor.


	12. Chapter 12

Ch. 12

The door chimed for the fifth or sixth time, annoying in its persistence, frustrating Kubota in its timing. Crawling off of Tokito he threw on a pair of pants and stumbled to the door, throwing it open with the express purpose of horribly killing whoever was on the other side.

"What?!" he growled, sounding more like Tokito than he preferred.

"Ku..bo..ta..." his eyes went wide as Taki fell at his feet, a thick crimson trail smeared across his doorframe and his friend's shirt.

Taki was clutching at an obvious gunshot wound in his side, vainly trying to stop the gushing blood. Kubota hurriedly called over his shoulder for Tokito to call Kou, grunting softly as he hefted the fallen blonde up into his arms, his chest sticky with the oozing life. He laid Taki on the couch, trying to answer the questions he didn't know for Kou, Tokito shouting them in his ear as he hovered behind him, worry etched into his every move and line.

"I don't know! God damnit you stupid fucking quack, just get over here now!" Tokito spat into the phone before slamming it shut and tossing it onto the kitchen table.

At Kubota's urging he ran and got a towel and the med kit, the least they could do was get the bleeding to stop before Kou arrived. Taki tried to sit up and failed horribly, vainly struggling against Kubota's firm hands and gentle voice. He hadn't been afraid until that moment, until Kubota spoke so gently and he remembered the night before, the quiet voice that soothed while his eyes took on a steely hardness that belied the gravity of the situation.

"Kubo...ta...bag, tape...don't let them...Toki...can't go...." blood sputtered out of his mouth as he coughed, the ugly gurgling sound hidden behind Tokito's frantic calling of his friend's name, over and over and even after Kubota had slipped his eyes closed and laid his hands across his chest, pulling Tokito away from the couch as Kou raced to the boy's side, pressing long sterile fingers against the red, shaking his head and sitting back heavily on his heels.

Time flashed in odd bursts. Tokito sat on the floor, arms wrapped around himself rocking back and forth, disbelieving the sight of his friend being put on a gurney, Kasai shaking his head and pulling a white sheet over his face, Kou and Kubo-chan talking quietly with him, notes and pictures changing hands. The flash of crime scene cameras made him flinch and press his hands into his ears, trying to block out the screaming and then there was Kubo-chan holding him and rocking him back and forth and he realized he was the one who had been screaming, unable to comprehend such a pointless death.

Kubota sat there holding Tokito while the rest of the world kept moving around them, vainly trying to think of a way to make this better, to make it not hurt so much, but he couldn't, there was nothing he could do or say that could help, they could only keep moving forward. Saying it aloud didn't make it any better sounding and as Tokito swept cold eyes across the lot of them he knew that some part of his cat had died. And it killed him.

The ringing of Tokito's phone drew their attention. Kou answered being the closest and as Kubota watched his eyes took on a dangerous glint he'd never seen before.

His icy voice held no hint of his usual pleasantries as he spoke, "如果我是您，我不會。" He closed the phone with a soft click and turned to smile at the pair.

"Kubota-kun, I have some errands to run, please stay here until I call on you, yes?" he smiled again and inclined his head at the two, but there was a rigidity to his motions that alerted Kubota. Trying to extract himself from Tokito he made to follow the man, but Tokito clung fast and shook his head emphatically.

"Stay. Kubo-chan, stay." And all he could do was obey the defeated voice beside him.

"What the hell..." he murmured under his breath at the Chinese's departing back.

"Akira."

"What?"

"That was Akira, he did this to Taki, delivered him like a freaking present on our doorstep. Fucking lunatic."

"Tokito, you can't know that..."

"'I wouldn't if I were you.'"

"What?"

"The quack, that's what he said, 'I wouldn't if I were you.'" Tokito rubbed his eyes and tried to clear his head, not noticing the measured look Kubota was giving him.

"How do you..."

Sighing Tokito looked around the room, "Who knows, I just did, that's all. God this place is a mess."

Standing heavily he went around picking up the discarded towels and bandages, tried picking-up Taki's messenger bag dropped it, trembling hands betraying his floundering nerves.

There was a click as the bag fell and in the quiet room the dead spoke to them:

"Came across an old man at the carnival today. Got him talking about the Izumo and Toujou and Wild Adapter. He said a dozen years ago there was a rumor that the Toujou got mixed up with a Hong Kong syndicate called the Black Dragons. The Black Dragons were big into designer drugs, real nasty shit that was used on the military, something about 'super soldiers' and 'killing machines'."

"He said that everything went sideways when this one scientist came into the picture. He didn't know his name, but it sounds like he was some big hotshot geneticist. Brought all sorts of 'experiments' with him, rumor was he even used his own kid as a test subject. There was a name, he wasn't sure whose it was, but he had heard there was success with one subject, someone named 'Reiichi'."

"Two years ago he heard they were scrambling, one of their plants went up in fire and a lot of the experiments were killed. There wasn't much after that on the subject until the bodies started showing up. It wasn't said out loud, but everyone in the underworld was moving, looking for _something_; some said it was the scientist, some said it was the last batch of drugs, no one really knew, but everyone in the junior ranks was sent out, and those higher up were tight lipped and really secretive about the whole matter."

"*sigh* That's about all he knew, odd guy, didn't have a problem talking about it, but since he was already in a chair, guess he didn't think it mattered much if he talked. He said I reminded him of his nephew, I think it was the 'old man' comment, who knows. Anyways, I'll try and dig around a bit more, see what I can find out. There seems to be some activity in the Chinatown warehouse district, and there are rumors of the Black Dragons again, tomorrow I'll head over there and take a look around. Hopefully, by dinner I'll have good news for Toki. Hopefully."

The tape clicked itself off, leaving the two of them in stunned silence. Here it was, half the story spread out before them and all Tokito could do was stare dumbfounded at the little black box laying on their floor. He watched as Kubota leaned over and picked it up, hit the rewind button and then stuffed it in his pocket.

"Kubo-chan, what, what was all that?" his voice was shaky, even to him, but he knew he had to ask, had to find out the truth.

"Not sure. I'm going over to Kou's, see if he can make some sense out of this and try and get our bearings a bit. Do NOT leave until you hear from one of us, if they're willing to go this far who knows what they'd do if they caught you." He walked back into the living room, doing up the last few buttons and pulling on his coat.

"Seriously, Tokito, don't leave the house until I call for you or come home. We can't afford to get sloppy now." He placed a hand on his mate's shoulder, squeezing it for emphasis.

"I'm not a kid you know!" Tokito pulled out of his grasp and tightened his grip on the bloody towels.

"Hai, Hai." He ducked his head at the mock swipe, dancing out of Tokito's reach as he scooped up his keys and raised his hand in goodbye.

Tokito watched as the door closed with an odd sense of finality filling him. It was like he knew what was going to happen, knew his world was about to fall around his ears and as he reflected on the last ten minutes he felt the panic raising up within him, propelling him forward.

Grabbing his keys and wallet he was out the door and down the street before he realized it, tracing steps he didn't remember taking, weaving through alley ways and around buildings and the whole time the smell of blood and fire grew in his nose and every gasp of breath filled his mouth with the overwhelming coppery taste of blood and death.

It was like running in a fog, where all he could see was the slowly blinking light of some unseen lighthouse in the distance, drawing him ever forward. He stumbled to a stop in front of a burned out building on the waterfront. He snarled subconsciously, he really hated the look of water after their last little 'road trip' courtesy of the Izumo, the scent of salt water and gas fumes made him sick.

He crouched in the shadows of the building, inching around smashed and scorched containers, weary of the littlest noise, the slightest shifting of shadow. He wasn't prepared then for when they came at him straight on. There was a hand, he could smell the chemicals drenching the cloth it held, then the searing pain as the taser's electric charge ripped through his body, diminished his senses and then the world went sideways and monochrome, and as he fell to the ground the last thought through his mind was that Kubo-chan was going to be so pissed.


	13. Chapter 13

**Butterflies and Broken Promises**

_"Drug thy memories, lest thou learn it." ~Tennyson_

Ch. 13

My head's splitting as I come too. There's dried blood plastered against my skull, a twinge of pain warns me that's not the only thing bruised as I try and sit up. Finding that impossible I realize there are restraints holding me down, thick black-brown leather cords that bite into my flesh and bring a sharp hiss of pain to my cracked lips. The panic starts to rise as my vision clears and I see bars stained in crimson flakes of rusty iron or ancient blood, I'm not sure and I seriously don't wanna know.

"Where?" my voice cracks and I'm so thirsty it hurts to swallow, to breath. There's a shadow moving around out there in the darkness. Slinking around the scorched walls and various tables I can faintly make out and flashes of memories struggle against the back of my eyes. Ferocious and terrifying and I can't tell if I'm afraid of the shadow or what it does to me.

There's a sharp stab of pain from my right hand, the claws straining against the metal shackles, some new metal I can't seem to break free from, damn him. A low, feral growl escapes my lips, there's a sudden shuffling as the shadow moves forward out of the gloomy half-lit darkness and I'm almost shocked at how plain the man is. This, _this_ is who terrified me? This slothful looking man with dead eyes and weak chin and limp drooping mouth was what made me wake screaming with absolute heart pounding terror for so many nights?

*Tsk!* I almost feel cheated, he should be scarier or something. Compared to Kubo-chan when he gets mad this guy's nothing.

"Ohh...so you're awake now? I was worried when you got sick from the drugs, so sensitive you seem to have become." A leering smile leaned in towards me, the sick sound of tongue on lips and my stomach rebels, the sickness spewing out in uncontrollable gushes. Gah, gross. I hate being sick.

"Ehh...lovely Reiichi, just lovely." He's making this little dissatisfied clicking sound with his tongue and all I want is a glass of water and a towel to wipe my mouth and if he hadn't used the drugs on me to begin with none of this would have happened. _Asshole._

"Anyways, I'm surprised you came yourself, where's your little Master, hmm? I would have liked to thank him in person for taking such good care of you." He looks around like this is some freakin tea party and Kubota's expected to come strolling in at any minute, hand held up with his infamous 'Yo' and we'd all just sit down and have tea and those stupid little sandwiches they give you.

"Moron, like I'd bother him with something lame like this." I try and sound all brusque and belligerent like this is nothing, like I'm not chained up like some wild animal and he's not the crazy assed mad scientist I know he is.

"Oh really? Hmm, alright then, let's get started, I have several tests I need to run and then, well, let's chat while we do this, that shouldn't be too hard for you, right?" The question seems innocuous enough but the searing pain running up my arms as he circles the cage and twists a few knobs makes my head spin. My visions swimming in and out and I'm feeling sick again.

There's _something_ draining into my arm, some weak looking yellow-green liquid dripping down through an IV and if could just twist my fingers a little farther I could get it out of me. He's laughing now as I struggle and that's where it clicks into focus, that's the sound that sent me screaming as I ran through the night, that insane laughter that only brought pain with it. Pain and...God, I remember...dear God no, **NO!**

There's screaming in my head and torn from my lips as I struggle against the bindings, ripping flesh and leather, the tattered skin flaking from my arms like rust from the bars surrounding me. All I see is the darkness, but I can feel his hands on me, chaining me to those bars and doing whatever he wants, tearing my child's body in two and defiling what shreds of humanity I might have had left and corrupting my soul- no longer innocent, no longer sane.

_Years ago, years ago, not now, never now, no pain, no hurt, no fear, no anger, just me, just me and Kubo-chan, that stupid quack, and Kasai, even Anna, Shouta, remember, try and remember, there's no pain, no forcing, he'd never hurt me, not him, just remember, try, try, Kubo-chan, Kubo-chan..._

I can feel myself slipping, my mind breaking under the memories, heavy and weighted and I should have waited, I should have, Kubo...-chan....

***

Kubota pushed the stop button for the third time, hitting the rewind button and waiting until he heard the soft click that signaled its completion. He sipped at the lukewarm tea and watched Kou's long fingers fly across the computer keyboard. He never would have thought Kou'd be into computers or technology in general, he always seemed so..._old fashioned_ to Kubota. There were screens and codes flashing across the screen as he flitted from one to the next, eyes scanning, searching, rapidly processing, evaluating, and passing on.

He stopped at one, a newspaper clipping from two years ago.

"Here we are. Hmm..looks like the fire was ruled arson and is still an open case. There was talk it might have been the drug lab of a local yakuza, witnesses said the fire burned green and purple, definite signs of copper and potassium chloride. Hypokalemia would explain the potassium. It's probably a side effect of the Wild Adapter drug they were having him take."

"Kou..."

"Hypokalemia is a blood disorder. It means there are low blood levels of potassium floating around in the person's body. It has some pretty serious side effects though: confusion, anxiety, uneven heartbeat, numbness in the extremities. I wonder if that was the point?"

"What do you mean? You think they were looking to a counter drug to the Wild Adapter side effects? Something that could stop people from turning into animals?"

Kou leaned back in his chair and started thoughtfully at the monitor. "Kubota-kun, does Tokito use a lot of salt in his food?"

"Salt, no, hates the stuff, says it tastes funny." Kubota looked at the older man questioningly.

"Hmm...makes sense, this chemical reacts badly with excess water in the body. Somehow his body has figured that out and he's compensating for it. Interesting." Kou rubbed his eyes and swiveled in the chair, turning to face Kubota.

"Kubota-kun, would you be so kind as to call Tokito down here for me, I want to check something."

"Sure, but he's not going to like you prodding him, you know how he feels about needles." Reaching into his pocket he hit the speed dial and waited for Tokito to pick-up, getting up and pacing as the phone went to voicemail. And then again; and once more.

Clicking the phone shut he leaned over Kou's shoulder and checked the address listed on the newspaper article. Grabbing his jacket he was out the door and down the street before Kou could even ask.

Sighing, he put another pot of water on to boil and pulled out his med kit before sitting down to wait. He had an unhappy thought that this time only one of the boys would be coming back.

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

Ch. 14-

The screaming wouldn't stop, the pain, the hands, he couldn't get away from them no matter how far he fled or what he thought about. They just kept coming, dark, hungry hands that seemed to reach out of the darkness of his prison or soul and drag him back under the water to kick and scream furiously.

Akira watched with a sadistic smile bending his lips. The young man was the same as when he fled, still too quick to fall back into his own mind in fear. He nodded curtly at the scene and suddenly those 'hands' he was screaming about were real, bright blue gloves holding him down and the hiss of a pressure needle to his neck caused the boy to retch violently across the pressed jacket of one of his captures before passing out.

Akira dismissed the soiled man and another one, equally tank-like in build and intelligence, stepped forward to help strap Tokito on to the examination table. Akira sliced the thin cotton shirt open, not really caring when a thin welt of blood seeped up to pool across the incision. Making little clicking noises with his tongue he ran through a battery of tests, blood, urine, ultrasound, skin samples, _fur_ samples. Anything and everything.

***

Kubota headed for home first, a quick check told him what he already knew, Tokito wasn't there; slipping his glasses back up the bridge of his nose he turned on his heel, it looked like he was going to meet the in-laws earlier than he'd planned. He smiled dangerously; _well then, he really should bring a gift._

Slipping the spare 'wok' into the back of his waistband he did a mental check of the streets between their apartment and the address of the warehouse, calculating the rough time he figured Tokito had left (_probably right after he told him not too_) and now...almost two hours. His eyes took on a dark hardness as he sped up.

***

The buildings front doors are a gaping maw of black scorch marks and fresh tire tracks as I get closer. There's the scent of chemicals and blood and vomit and my mouth works hard trying to tap down the absolute fury raising up within my throat. I know he's been here, I'm not blind and the scuff marks and knee impressions are pretty obvious. It just makes me madder. How dare they touch my cat?!

A low grumbling from deep within the cavernous building pus my feet one in front of the other as I boldly walk up to the large corrugated doors half hanging from broken hinges and I smile slightly, those are claw marks, my cat didn't go willingly into the dark then. Not that he would.

When we were sinking out there in the dark waters of the Bay I thought about how it'd be perfect if we just lay back and let the water take us down into its icy embrace, but he gave me that look like I was the biggest moron in the world and told me we'd get sick if we did that. I almost laughed, how like him to state the obvious, and like me to need him to, to need one of us to state the glaring truth of our lives.

So I walk in, hear the small noises and choked exclamations of guards built like small buildings turning, guns out blaring, an alarm in my head, but not because of their deadliness, because I can see him, fighting vainly against shackles and chains, his voice cracking in anger and fear, a fevered pitch that sets my blood boiling. I don't know how many have died, I don't care either. They're just like ants to me, small insignificant things that need to be squished beneath my foot. Whose existence I might ponder later, but probably won't. They aren't important enough.

So I keep firing, keep walking steadily forward, towards the light and the only truth I've ever known. Eyes locked, a sapphire so deep it puts the ocean to shame and my own, somewhere between grey and green, something insignificant like color fading into the back of my brain. The only thing that matters is him.

So when his go wide and his mouth opens in a scream, his body jerking to get off the table I'm a little slow, caught off guard for the first time in my life by the ant pile raising up around me. There's too many of them and I'm out of bullets. I'm no stranger to pain, I've lived with it my entire life, even when he broke my arm I didn't flinch, but this was a bit more than I was expecting.

I cough and blood splatters across the concrete I'm suddenly way to close to for my own comfort. The coppery burn down my throat telling my body to move, move dammit! And then I'm up, body screaming in protest as flesh and bone snap like twigs under steel piped and brass knuckles. I laugh, a manic thing that's torn from my throat as I tear flesh with bare hands, nails slicing through, see? I'm much more of a 'monster' than you'll ever be.

Somewhere my brain registers that he's watching me, watching as I tear flesh and break bones and going completely insane all for him and there's this terrified look mixing with feral protectiveness crossing his features as he somehow manages to tear a leg free of the chains, they must have skimped on those, or he's gotten stronger. There's a thought that scares me to know end. But it's Tokito, he'd never turn on me, we're too much alike that way, to loyal to our masters.

***

tbc


	15. Chapter 15

Ch. 15-

A scared little man reaches through the darkness and slams a needle into Tokito's still bound arms and I can almost taste the blood on the air as he loses it. Glowing golden eyes contract dangerously and then there's the clanking of metal being torn asunder and those pesky ants I've been battling break and make a run for, crowbars and wood boards falling to the floor noisily in their escape.

The claws are longer, the fur rougher as it bristles in his mounting anger and pain. Akira fell helplessly, screaming as he scrambled backwards. He probably thought an overdose of Wild Adapter would instantly kill him. Too bad it didn't. Not that I'm broken up about it or anything, watching Tokito stalk the slimy little worm of a man is something I'm taking a bit too much pleasure in, I really should try and stop him, I should.

But I don't.

I'm a horrible person, absolutely cruel in my unwavering desire for retribution against this man. He's the entire reason for Tokito's pain, the nightmares, the sweats, the look of embarrassment and dejection I've woken to many times to see plastered across his face as he sits under a scalding shower and clutches vainly at the slowly encroaching hair on his wrist.

So I sit back, listen to him pleading for his life as claws inch closer.

"Reiichi! You can't! you wouldn't hurt your 'father' would you?" it's sickening to watch.

"You....are...not...my...father!" it's spat from almost inhuman lips and I stare in fascination as the beast and man war within such a slight frame.

"I. I remember my father. He was a kind man with dark hair and green eyes who brought you into the lab, tried to help with your research, I know! Argh!!! I know you shot him. Your partner and you shot him dead like a rat in one of the experiments! I...I was just another rat to you. And now, now you can feel what it's like, what being a rat in a maze, destined to die feels like." The words were almost a hiss, my cat was spitting fury and vengeance, one of the four horsemen come to claim this bastards soul and I smiled.

I smiled.

As claws sank into flesh and ripped, the sickening sound of muscle tearing, bones cracking under their ferocious pressure all I could do was watch, one of us had too. One of us, because the beast smiling as blood flung up to splatter wetly against his face and chest, that was no longer Tokito. I'd taken such pains to keep his hands clean, thinking one of us had too. One of us had to be clean to redeem the other.

And so it was left to me. How messed up is that? I'm the redeemer here.

Pulling myself up the wall partially I try to walk, can't quite make it and fall noisily to the ground. Try again, fall again, just like the nine levels I have to keep trying, keep pulling myself up or neither of us will ever be saved. And I can't have that. At the least...he has to...he has to be saved, has to be clean, if this is the only thing I can do for him, then this life might have had meaning after all.

I can only hope.

***

tbc


	16. Chapter 16

Ch.16-

He's crouching over the body as I stumble closer. There's a snap to his neck and I'm looking into sharp, slatted eyes and the dripping claws, shredded flesh hanging limply from their needle like points, they clench momentarily and I can almost see his mind turning, trying to establish my smell in his brain, because he knows me, but he can't place me and I just stand there, shakily leaning against the burned out wall and let him drink in his fill of me.

There's a pause and then a shudder so deep he has to use both hands to hold himself up. His head thrown back he cries, a strangled sound of the most heart wrenching variety and there's pain etched into every line and angle of his body and then fear washed over him and I can almost taste it curling through the air as his skin crawls, quite literally down his arms and over furred flesh and then there's a smoothness where once was coarse hair dampened by blood and entrails and he collapses in a heap by the body of his insane 'father' and all I can do is fall with him.

Vainly I struggle to pull myself to his side, broken ribs and elbow protesting furiously as I make a snail's pace to him, the dusky trail of blood smeared along the concrete floor in my wake. He's too light, always was, and holding him now I can only pray that he comes back to me, begging a God I don't believe in for some sort of divine intervention, selling my soul to see those amethyst eyes open and blink up at me in recognition.

But God has a sense of humor, or hates me, could go either way, because he is looking up at me, but there's no recognition in his eyes and he starts to scramble away from my embrace and all I hear is the shattering of my heart in the darkness.

"Who are you? Where am I?"

There's that panicked face again, I remember it so well from that first night so long ago, another life time it seems, and I can only sigh, _at least he's alive_.

"Do you remember your name?" I ask, slumping back away from Akira's corpse and fish around in my bloody jacket for my cigarettes.

"Reiichi, why wouldn't I? Who are you?" There's a small flare of hot gold bouncing off of the lighter, reflecting in his eyes and I slowly press it to my lips, taking a deep drag and hold it until my brain starts to go fuzzy and then it's hanging in the air between us and I can see his nose working, maybe...

"Kubota. Makoto Kubota. We've been living together for two years now. You've had some medical problems, but should be ok now. How do you feel?"

Another drag and his eyes are shifting skeptically back and forth from the mutilated corpse and my bloody hands and I can see his brain working, _you did that_. And I can't bring myself to correct him; I don't want him to remember the bad stuff, even if it means forgetting me as well.

"Looks like you're the one with 'medical problems'." He huffs out and I smile faintly, at least that part hasn't changed.

"Yeah, I guess so."

He's moving now, still predatory even if the claw is gone and then he's crouching by my side and leaning in, sniffing lightly at my neck and I roll my head to the side to let him get closer if he wants. The slight movement makes him skittish and he pauses.

"Kubota." He rolls it around his tongue softly, trying the sound of it and wrinkles his nose, "That doesn't sound right. Kubo...-chan? That sounds better, why does that sound better, you're a guy after all?"

I smile openly now and he stares at me, like he's never seen anything like that before and the confusion is plain to read on his bruised and bloody features.

"Yeah, I guess so. Hmmm...consider it payback then."

He rocks back on the balls of his feet and looks at me skeptically, "What do you mean, payback?"

"Hmm...probably for calling you a stray cat all these years."

"I'm not a cat, Kubo-chan! Stop calling me that!" and his hands are clenched in my shirt collar; if he had fur it'd defiantly be bristling right now.

A wave of recognition washes over him and then confusion, his brain's trying to put everything together and it's painful, so painful and all I want to do is hold him close and say it's alright, but I don't know this 'Reiichi', he might not appreciate the closeness right now, so I do what I always do and pull my hand back to my side.

"God dammit all! OWOWOWOWOW!!! Ku...bo...-chan...." the pains too much, for either of us, and then he's in my arms and I'm breathing in his scent and I know he's doing the same and then there's a mumbling against my neck, a subtle pressure and I strain my ears to catch his words.

"I...I don't remember. Not completely, but I know this scent, I know it and it means _friend_ and if nothing else, I can start there. Will you...can you show me...?" his voice is faint and fear laced and so sweet to my ears.

Brushing my lips across the top of his head, fingers trailing through his hair and nodding faintly all I can do is smile.

"Hai...hai..."

I can feel his lips curve against my neck, mumbling into the darkness and I sigh contentedly, "Stupid Kubo-chan."

I know we'll be alright now. I just know it.

**Fin!**

AN: Yeah, I finished it!!!! Hopefully it's a respectable ending and everyone's satisfied with it. Who knows what sensei will really do, but I hope if she ever did read this she would be pleased. Thank you to everyone who gave me encouragement and hung on until the end, I know it took awhile. J Domo, Domo.


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